Tag Archives: Anne Hathaway

The Dark Knight Rises – Trailer #2 Goes Viral!

19 Dec

Has it already been three years? Well, three years, five months and one day to be exact, but ever since we sat in the theater on opening day to watch The Dark Knight, the second installment in the amazing ‘Batman’ trilogy Christopher Nolan is putting together, we’ve been waiting patiently for the thrid and final film, to complete what is looking to be the best movie arc since the original Star Wars (let’s be honest, Indiana Jones took a dive in Temple of Doom, and the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy was just waaaay too long and complex). Well, we are now one day closer to getting the final film, as an official trailer for The Dark Knight Rises has hit the web, and we couldn’t be happier to voice a collective “Hell Yes!”

A couple months back we got just a peek at the first teaser, showing Gary Oldman‘s ‘Commissioner Gordon’ painfully speaking from a hospital bed, and flashing a glimpse of main baddie ‘Bane’ played by Tom Hardy. A tease if I ever saw one! Combined with The Dark Knight regularly airing on basic cable, we felt it was high time the producers gave us a bit more, and a full trailer we now have. Eerily opening with a boy singing the National Anthem at a ‘Gotham Rogues’ football game, it sets the tone for a movie that promises no one will be left standing by the end of this thing, and we couldn’t be more excited. With Bruce Wayne’s loyal butler Alfred apologizing for failing to protect our hero, a memorial service for ‘Two-Face’ D.A. Harvey Dent, and an ominous warning from a so-far de-clawed Catwoman (played by Anne Hathaway) that would send shivers up the spines of the 1%, we’re confident Nolan’s got quite a movie brewing here. Oh, and not to mention Hardy’s ‘Bane’ blows up an entire football field in front of 80,000 strong; the Rogues will probably be playing the rest of their home games at Gotham U.

An uprising appears to be in the works in this one. With Hathaway’s ‘Selina Kyle/Catwoman’ whispering an address in Bruce Wayne’s ear on behalf of the have-nots, and Bane leading a rousing, AK-47 brandishing band of busted out convicts, the streets that were once safe under the watchful eye of the Bat, will run red with blood in his absence. With Nolan coming out and saying this film takes place 8 years after the last one left off, it appears Bruce has been actually running his companies rather than sleeping during board meetings, and the proletariat have gotten sick of watching the rich get richer and fatter at their expense. A scene in which a fancy house party gets trashed, and tuxedo clad guests get drug out by their bowties, only enforces that maybe Nolan is pulling an “art imitates life” maneuver; expect to see Occupy tents alongside rabid fanboys, waiting outside theaters on opening day.

But what’s the endgame here? The trailer clearly says this will be the “epic conclusion” and a final showdown on the steps of city hall between Bane and an older Batman could prove that this will be a showdown unlike any other. We’re playing for keeps in this one, winner take all, and the whole city is up for grabs. What happens to Gordon who is stuck in that hospital bed from the first teaser? Which side will Catwoman officially fall on? And who is flying that awesome Bat-plane; the one that looks like a stealth helicopter on steroids?! But more importantly, what happens to the Bat, who is out of practice, out of shape, and out of sequels? With the whole of Gotham depending on him, can he save the day and restore peace, society, and economic equality?

So, will it suck?

NO! A hundred thousand times No. With a pedigree like this, and such a kick-ass trailer, is there any way they can miss? Nolan’s built a franchise that could run on auto-pilot and still be more entertaining than Green Lantern, The Avengers and all of the X-Men combined, plus have plenty left over to blow out every other movie hitting screens this summer. Knowing his attention to detail and cerebral history, we’ve just gotta believe he pulled out all the stops to make this one just as good as the last, and even though the deck is stacked against him without the benefit of a Joker running around, The Dark Knight Rises will come out on top as one of the most entertaining movies in all of 2012, and should fit neatly in the textbooks as the proper way to make an action movie. It will be a bittersweet end to a great reboot, but I personally can’t wait, and I would sit through a thousand horrible movies this winter and spring just to watch this trailer over and over and over again. Plus, was that a cameo by Pittsburgh Steeler Hines Ward…???

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In Theaters This Weekend: Summer Movie Season is Over, Part II

19 Aug

Last week we claimed that the summer movie season was over. Every year, twice a year, Hollywood dumps the dead corpses of rotten movies on us, and much like the rubbish we got just after New Year’s (does Nicolas Cage ring a bell?), the end of summer is always signaled by studios giving up, and giving us trash movies that just had no chance of standing up to any movie that came out between May 1st and July 31st (and that includes The Smurfs). Last week we thought we were hitting rock bottom with stoner comedy 30 Minutes or Less, and what we can only hope is the final Final Destination movie. However, we might have called it too soon. Yes, as Hollywood always does, they’ve topped themselves this week, with an even larger (4 movies), smellier trash heap, and they expect us to continue to buy into this. No thanks, but without further ado, let’s take a look at how low Hollywood can go.

Almost as reliable as the mail, a throwaway movie in Hollywood is almost always a remake, either of a famous TV show your parents watched in the sixties and seventies, or a cherished, albeit cult film, from the 80’s. So, no doubt this week, we get two of them; one’s a vampire flick looking to capture the teen audience, and the other is a remake of Conan the Barbarian, which will likely be seen by nobody. In the “there’s a monster living right next door” movie category, Fright Night came out in the mid-eighties, to an audience clamoring for campy horror movies like Friday the 13th and the Nightmare on Elm Street series; it wore its camp on its sleeve, and grew a cult following from kids growing up on catching it on TV and video. The remake, which stars Colin Farrell and up-and-comer Anton Yelchin, doesn’t quite cheese it up, and doesn’t quite capture that fun that a cult film usually needs to garner repeat viewings. Looking almost exactly like Disturbia (starring another young Hollywood darling, Shia LaBeouf), we can’t say this would completely suck, but let’s face it, if we wanted to watch a movie like Disturbia, then we’ll just re-watch that one, and politely pass when people ask if we want seconds. Conan the Barbarian, however, is a remake that deserves as little attention as possible, mostly for the fact that it wasn’t screened for critics, and if they put such little faith in a film they reportedly blew $90 Million on, they should learn to save their money and reinvest it in their R&D department, so maybe a good movie idea might have a chance to make it to the screen someday.

That day seems like a decade away, as the other two movies opening this weekend are a Spy Kids sequel (the 4th in the series), and an Anne Hathaway/Jim Sturgess movie that is what Beyond Sunrise/Sunset would’ve looked like if Richard Linklater was a lazy S.O.B. Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D is a candy colored entry in the popular Spy Kids series, but people, will you never learn, it’s the rule of 3 – from art, literature, and sometimes even movies, everything is better in 3’s. How popular are movie trilogies? Very popular. Now tell me, what’s a great movie series that has 4 installments? Whoah, whoah, just give me one, please. And don’t get me started on the “in 4D” portion of the title, and yes, that is part of the title of the movie. Yes, we all know tacking on 3D to your film is going to make it easier to market toward idiots, but if you already name your 3rd installment Spy Kids 3-D, well, you’re kinda out of luck. And unless you can explain in-depth Euclidian geometry, or demonstrate the 4th dimension in spacetime, you shouldn’t be allowed to tag “4D” onto the end of your movie title. And as for Anne Hathaway and her horrible English accent in One Day, a movie about two people who are in love with each other (but don’t know they’re in love with each other), who meet one day a year for 20 years, we just have to say please stop now, and thank the stars we don’t have to revisit this junk once a year, every year……..

……it’s actually two weekends a year, and if the trend is to keep spreading the summer movie season trash heap over several weekends, making it to the Fall movie season is going to be a rough journey.

First Glimpse: Anne Hathaway as ‘Catwoman’ official pics

11 Aug

The new cat suit is raising eyebrows, but not for reasons that you’d think…

Filming has officially started on The Dark Knight RisesChristopher Nolan‘s final installment in the Batman franchise, so of course, pictures are starting to leak. But the first official release from Warner Bros. of the new ‘Catwoman’ Anne Hathaway, fully suited and acting up, is causing a stir in the nerd community because its….well, kinda lame. Whether or not you’d want to see Anne Hathaway in a barely there suit (I for one have never found the woman ‘sexy’ by any means), the role of Catwoman has grown to epitomize female sexuality at its vampiest, and the picture we got was less than that:

From what we gather, it looks as if the Cat has either commandeered Batman’s ‘Bat-Pod’, or is just borrowing it with the Dark Knight’s permission, and looks to be heading into action, but the suit that we see is little more than a head’s-up wraparound visor, and an ill-fitting leather jumpsuit. There are no ears, no visible whip, and if kitty’s got claws, they’re obviously retractable. So what does this mean in the pantheon of memorable “Catwomen” portrayals?

Well, so far, absolutely nothing. Hathaway herself has come out to address the issue of lackluster reception to the suit, and has stated to MTV that early detractors need only wait for the release of the film to see what the suit can actually do:

“What I am happy to say is: If you didn’t like the photo… you only see about a tenth of what that suit can do,” Hathaway said. “And if you did like the photo, you have excellent taste.”

So obvious bias aside, and that is taking into account Hathaway can be trusted, hopefully this one shot, from this one angle, is just one way the character appears onscreen. Who knows what Nolan has up his sleeve, and who’s to say that this isn’t just her “tactical” suit – like a motorcycle jacket intended for controlled slides. She could rip the outer layer off like snap-pants, to reveal a sexy corset, or some sort of thigh high/garter belt system. But then again, knowing Nolan’s style for gritty realism, this might be a “functional” suit; you know – something a real catburglar might tend to wear. Whatever we end up getting in the end is still to be seen down the line, and I am one to devote blind faith to Nolan’s track record when it comes to all things Batman, but you gotta admit so far the initial reaction is “non-plussed”, and it certainly doesn’t bode well that The Hollywood Gossip is offering up a jacket from The GAP in its “Get the Look” section….

In Theaters This Weekend: Bird-brained comedy for kids, and the ‘Scream’ franchise takes another stab

15 Apr

It’s spring! The rebirth of everything green and colorful outdoors, so what is Hollywoodbaiting us with to get us inside a theater this weekend? Well, aside from a temporary respite from those pesky allergies, not much. We’re only a few weeks away from the summer blockbuster season kicking off with Thor on May 6, and it looks like the studios are piling on some mid-range movies that will attempt to prime the box office this year.

First up is Rio, a CGI cartoon about rare birds who take to Rio de Janeiro just in time for Carnival. Voiced by The Social Network’s Jesse Eisenberg, Blu is one of the last remaining male blue macaws in the world, and after living his entire life in captivity in frigid Moose Lake, Minnesota, is sent down to Rio to hopefully mate with the last remaining females in Jewel (voiced by Anne Hathaway). Aside from a potentially racy sex scene involving two birds, this seems to be typical kid fare, as kidnappers steal the valuable birds, and during their daring escape, it’s revealed that Blu, after living in a cage all his life, never learned how to fly. In what should be a great lesson teaching kids to overcome their fears and stretch their wings, Rio comes off as one of those middling kids movies. With other voices provided by George Lopez, Jamie Foxx and will.i.am, it’s got lots of colors and cute animals to attract the young ones, but probably won’t be a memorable movie years to come.

 

And the second major movie opening up this weekend, and I put it at second, is Scream 4. The return of the franchise, 11 years after the last one, seems like a fun attempt to return to Woodsboro and delight in the slightly irreverent take on the slasher film genre. However, most people you talk to couldn’t even tell you this movie was coming out this weekend, let alone that they were even coming out with another “Scream.” Returning all of the major players that weren’t killed off in the previous movies, Scream 4 has Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette, and bring in fresh blood like Anna Paquin, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Roberts and Kristen Bell, and in an updated critique on modern teen horror movies, bring in the use of social networking, where the “new” Ghostface Killer uses webcams and cell phone video recorders to document his grisly murders. While the first “Scream” film took advantage of the “Dawson Creek” era hyper-aware teen scene of the time, modern teenagers who have been dumbed down by “Jersey Shore” and MTV’s “Teen Mom” just don’t seem to be the same as they used to be. Scream 4 might be a good ‘ol time at the theater, but in the wake of seven Saw films, it just seems a bit tired.

Oscar Picks and Winners

27 Feb

Will it Suck’s up to the minute listing of our picks and winners from the 83rd Academy Awards

The Academy Awards are all over, and here’s our scorecard of how we though “The Big 6” was going to go down – Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Supporting Actress.

Best Picture
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are Alright
The King’s Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network – it was the best movie we saw this year
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter’s Bone
And the winner is: The King’s Speech

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan
David O. Russell – The Fighter
Tom Hooper – The King’s Speech
David Fincher – The Social Network – we’ve been wanting Fincher to win an Oscar for years, and finally he directs a movie that was truly the best directed film of the year
Joel and Ethan Coen – True Grit
And the winner is: Tom Hooper

Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem – Biutiful
Jeff Bridges – True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg – The Social Network
Jame Franco – 127 Hours – we know it’s going to Colin Firth, but wouldn’t you like to see the Oscar host  win the Best Actor award?! That, and he actually did have pretty good onscreen chemistry with that boulder…
Colin Firth – The King’s Speech
And the winner is: Colin Firth

Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening – The Kids Are Alright
Nicole Kidman – Rabbit  Hole
Jennifer Lawrence – Winter’s Bone – we’re always one for rooting for the underdog, so despite the fact that the Academy loves Annette Bening and in the wake of Natalie Portman’s completely average performance, we’re going with relative unknown Jennifer Lawrence
Natalie Portman – Black Swan
Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine
And the winner is: Natalie Portman

Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale – The Fighter – Bale had possibly the best performace at the theaters this year, and on top of the slight the Academy gave to Andrew Garfield in this category for The Social Network, we’ll have to say this one is all sown up
John Hawkes – Winter’s Bone
Jeremy Renner – The Town
Mark Ruffalo – The Kids Are Alright
Geoffrey Rush – The King’s Speech
And the winner is: Christian Bale

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams – The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter – The King’s Speech
Melissa Leo – The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld – True Grit – we think the Academy already recognized a great South Boston portrayal when they nominated the well deserved Amy Ryan for 2008’s Gone Baby Gone, but she didn’t win the Oscar, and neither will either of the two actresses nominated from The Fighter. Hailee Steinfeld could capitalize on Adams and Leo cancelling each other out, and pull a Tatum O’Neal at the Oscars this year. Hopefully, she doesn’t completely follow in O’Neal’s footsteps, though.
Jacki Weaver – Animal Kingdom
And the winner is: Melissa Leo

How’d we do?
1/6

Ouch, but we’ve gotta say, with a relative sweep by The King’s Speech, we probably could’ve assumed such an outcome. It’s British, pretentious, historical and based on a true story? Just what Hollywood likes to reward, to try to mask the fact that they released a Sex and the City sequel and two Katherine Heigl movies. Whatever gets you through the night…

Catwoman and Bane Named the Next Batman Villains: Anne Hathaway and Tom Hardy set to take on the caped crusader in “The Dark Knight Rises”

19 Jan

Anne Hathaway gets tapped as the new CatwomanToday, after months, years even, of intense internet speculation, Warner Bros. has announced that Catwoman and Bane will be the next villains to take on Batman in Christopher Nolan’s third and final installment of the popular franchise reboot. But while Nolan announced months ago that his Inception star Tom Hardy would have a major role in the next film, titled The Dark Knight Rises, the other big news came today with word  that Anne Hathaway would star as “Selina Kyle”, the alter-ego of Batman’s on-again, off-again girlfriend, Catwoman. While the official press release from the studio never specifically mentions “Catwoman” by name, we can only assume we’ll see a leather-clad Hathaway at some point in this movie. Here’s the official word from Warner Bros.:

BURBANK, CA, January 19, 2011 – Warner Bros. Pictures announced today that Anne Hathaway has been cast as Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight Rises.” She will be starring alongside Christian Bale, who returns in the title role of Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Christopher Nolan stated, “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Anne Hathaway, who will be a fantastic addition to our ensemble as we complete our story.”

In addition, Tom Hardy has been set to play Bane. Nolan said, “I am delighted to be working with Tom again and excited to watch him bring to life our new interpretation of one of Batman’s most formidable enemies.”

Nolan will direct the film from a screenplay he wrote with Jonathan Nolan, from a story by Christopher Nolan and David S. Goyer. Nolan will also produce the film with his longtime producing partner, Emma Thomas, and Charles Roven.

“The Dark Knight Rises” is slated for release on July 20, 2012. The film will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.

Now, Tom Hardy as Bane? We had other, better ideas of what to do with him, but we can go with it. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman? No, no, a million times NO! First of all, Nolan ending his career-making franchise run with a cheesy and bizarre Batman/Bruce Wayne/Catwoman love triangle just sits a little uneasy with us, but to cast Hathaway as one of the centerpiece characters?! To put it nicely, this site used to have a “No Anne Hathaway” policy, but with her recent ubiquitous presence in Hollywood, we grudgingly had to change that, in a bittersweet decision that left this writer contemplating giving up movies for good.

However, as we’ve said time and time again, you have to trust a director who has proven time and time again that they know what they’re doing. The Coen Brothers, David Fincher and Steven Spielberg (before Indy 4) were all on that list, and after the first two Batman installments, and last summer’s Inception, Christopher Nolan gets the same treatment. But we’d be remiss to give him carte blanche without adding our two cents, so Chris, after today’s announcement, we’re only officially signing off on 1 of the 4 decisions made:

  1. Tom Hardy – Yes
  2. Bane – Eh…
  3. Catwoman – No!
  4. Anne Hathaway – (blech) Hey, what’s Julie Newmar doing these days…?

The original catwoman

Billy Crystal They Aren’t: James Franco and Anne Hathaway set to host 2011 Oscars

30 Nov

After relying on a strong cast of regular players, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has gone waaaay off script, and has announced that 2011’s 83rd Academy Awards ceremonies will be hosted by none other than James Franco and Anne Hathaway, two young, up-and-comers in A-List Hollywood with major film roles under their belts, but young nonetheless. For the past twenty years, the biggest awards show in pop culture has had just a handful of recurring hosts, with Jon Stewart and Steve Martin hosting twice apiece, Whoopi Goldberg hosting four times, and Billy Crystal taking the reins a whopping eight times. But with Hollywood, and pop culture in general, becoming a younger man’s game, it seems like the Academy is gunning for a more youthful demographic, and with both Franco and Hathaway having hosted SNL in the past year, the obvious draw is to get teens interested in a ceremony that has generally alienated them for years.

This news is coming as quite a shock to most. After last year’s ceremony starring co-hosts Martin and Alec Baldwin, you could have said the Academy was leaning toward the edgier, as Baldwin’s brand of comedy is popular with the “30 Rock” crowd, who while relatively small, generally skews young. But in light of the decision to nominate 10 films in the Best Picture category, the Academy also looks to be overreaching for an overhaul that’ll bring about a wider audience, which might’ve worked, seeing as how the show bolstered its best ratings since 2005. But Martin and Baldwin are comedic legends, and both are very familiar with hosting duties, sharing the top spot of all-time SNL hosts with 15 apiece. What kind of experience does Hathaway, whose tear-jerker of a romantic comedy Love and Other Drugs opened up this past month,  have when it comes to live comedy? And let’s be honest, James Franco is well known to be a total weirdo, shunning the spotlight at times, and what was up with that stint on “General Hospital”???!!! But only time will tell if this is all just a ratings-grab intended to get younger viewers, or if by chance, the Academy is seeing something we apparently aren’t.

Know this certainty, however, that Franco may just be the first host in history to win the Oscar the same night they pull emcee duties, as he will no doubt be nominated for his work in 127 Hours. A potentially Worst Award Show Host “Razzie” might be in the making that night, as well.

In Theaters This Weekend: Thanksgiving brings four new movies, not much to be thankful for

24 Nov

Every Thanksgiving we have a tradition around the Will It Suck? house – the annual “who can eat the most turkey and stuffing before they barf” competition. However, once everything is cleaned up, we like to hit the nearest multiplex and indulge in our other turkey-day tradition – checking out the new Thanksgiving weekend movies. Traditionally, the studios give us big name movies to sink our teeth into over this long holiday weekend, but the latest ‘Harry Potter’ installment came out last week, and the big action flicks (Tron Legacy) and comedies (Gulliver’s Travels, Little Fockers) are waiting for a Christmas release. So, what is it that we’re getting this time around, and will it be worth spending time in theaters this weekend? Let’s see…

Christina Aguilera Burlesque StarBurlesque stars Christina Aguilera in her first major role alongside Cher, in kind of a cross between Cabaret and Coyote Ugly. A girl heads to Los Angeles to chase her dreams, and works her way up from clumsy waitress to big-time burlesque star at a local nightclub. Cher is the owner/mentor of the club in the role Maria Bello played in ‘Ugly,’ but while Aguilera is much more of a talent than Piper Perabo, she’s definitely no Liza, and aside from being entertaining during the show scenes, the rest of the movie just looks painful to watch. I can’t imagine Xtina’s acting chops are finely tuned quite yet, and frankly, without an interesting subplot involving Nazi Germany, Burlesque comes off a little less “All That Jazz,” and a little more Pussycat Dolls revue.

Jake and AnneIf you’re looking for a date night for dessert, you might want to check out Love and Other Drugs, starring Jake Gyllenhaal as a sleazy drug rep making big money selling Viagara, and Anne Hathaway as the free spirit he meets and begins to fall for. However, this isn’t the fun, light-hearted romantic comedy you might need after a long day of food and family; this is a tear-jerker of the worst kind. Hathaway’s character gets sick with early signs of Parkinson’s, and she pushes away Gyllenhaal, who just wants to help. What’s the deal here? Can’t we just get a happy comedy to close out our day on a high note? This shouldn’t be too awful of a movie, with Jake and Anne being charming enough as a couple (remember their loving marriage in Brokeback Mountain?), but the film also stars Josh Gad, the poor-man’s Jonah Hill, and let’s not forget that if we wanted to cry on Thanksgiving, we’d just spend more time with our family.

Dwayne "The Rock" JohnsonIf you’re looking for a movie with a bit more meat and sweet potatoes, try Faster starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. A revenge flick, where The Rock checks names off a list of people he holds responsible  for the murder of his brother, and by “checks off” we mean “guns down in plain sight.” A vigilante movie with a blue collar vibe, we can’t think of anything that has us gunning to see this one, not even Billy Bob Thornton as the cop that’s tasked with tracking the amateur hit-man down. We’ll wait for True Grit this Christmas to get our revenge-flick fix.

Disney's new Rapunzel updateAnd rounding out the Thanksgiving movie releases is Tangled, Disney’s new animated 3D take on the Rapunzel fairy tale. Possibly your best bet if you’re looking for something light after such a heavy meal, the film stars the voices of Mandy Moore and TV’s “Chuck” Zachary Levi, as the princess and her hunky liberator. After years of being locked up, Rapunzel cures her case of cabin fever by letting her hair down (yes, all of it), and gorging on life experiences. With great 3D graphics that give the characters the depth of very well made clay figures, this movie’s eye-candy and light-hearted subject matter might just make it the pick for this relatively slow Thanksgiving season.

In Theaters This Weekend: Three big movies give us déjà vu

12 Nov

Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘wait a minute – I’ve been here before’? Well, no doubt you’ve experienced a bout of déjà vu, and if you’re heading to theaters this weekend, no doubt it’ll happen again. Not one, but all three of the major releases this week remind us of previous movies; and we’re not talking remakes here. These are first run films that just happen to be all too familiar.

First up is Skyline, an alien invasion movie that critics and the public-at-large are calling a cross between Independence Day and War of the Worlds. And rightfully so, with the alien ships descending from the clouds over Los Angeles a la ID4, sucking up earthlings in their bowels, just like they did in WotW. The major difference separating this film from the blockbusters it bites from is there isn’t a Will Smith or Tom Cruise moving the plot along, so why should we care if the human race is doomed?

Next is Unstoppable, a runaway train movie starring Denzel Washington as a veteran train conductor, and ‘Captain Kirk’ Chris Pine as the rookie in the midst of his first day on the job. The train in question is loaded with hazardous cargo and can’t…be…stopped. Not only does this film remind us of Speed, and even Speed 2: Cruise Control, but even more horrific is how similar the plot is to Under Siege 2, the outta control train movie with Steven Seagal; not the best star to hitch your wagon to. While we believe that Denzel and Pine are a legitimate and up-and-coming actor respectively, any trailer that shows the same action scene twice (collision at :54 and 1:35), is obviously hurting for suspense. Our take? Somebody should’ve hit the brakes on this project a long time ago.

And the last big film of the week, Morning Glory, wears its influence so shamelessly on its sleeve that the trailer even says “From the screenwriter of The Devil Wears Prada.” Think of Rachel McAdams as an understudy for Anne Hathaway, and replace the high pressure world of fashion with the high pressure world of network news. Co-starring Harrison Ford and Diane Keaton as morning anchors that can’t stand each other, it’s fitting that the call letters for the major television network stand-in is IBS, because I’d rather have irritable bowel syndrome than to have to sit through this. Ford and Keaton might save this from getting cancelled, but the biggest ratings boost is the chance to see McAdams in her underwear.

So, enter the theaters this weekend at your own risk, or just head to the video store and save your money. And if you’re tired of reading or are illiterate, check out our video previews on Will It Suck? TV, our new weekly vodcast hosted on metromix.com; quick, easy, and like a shotgun to your senses.

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